I can't go to sleep and I have a lot on my mind. So here I go, I used to always think that I thought to much of people, because I always saw the best in them. I knew that they could do good, I just enabled them to do the opposite, or ''fix'' themselves. I think it's because it's easier to have broken people in your life, if you are broken as well. I hate that I spend my whole childhood not thinking about my self. I'm glad I helped people out. But I'm pretty sure that I would have focused more on school and not so much on them. Do NOT get me wrong I am so blessed today, but what I had to go through to get here was not any fun. I also hate that nobody besides my husband really knows ''me''. I hate that I never show feelings about things. I'm pretty sure I'm adopted.. lol I say that because my family is so lovey lovey and I'm really not. I mean I am with my husband and children but not so much other people. I Hate that I always ALWAYS think the worst about almost every situation. I hate that before my husband came along that I was almost 100% right about the bad things that were going to happen. I hate that it's hard for me to take a compliment! I hate that I don't make more time to do crafts with my children. I hate that I forget to think heavenly father as much as I should. I hate that I'm not closer to my family.
Now that I got most of the ''I hates'' out of me, I will tell you that no matter how negative I am today. I'm going to be that much more positive tomorrow. I have let people take my happiness and I am taking it back. My family deserve me and the happy me. Not the negative one. :) I think that I thought that I didn't deserve to be happy. Or that I wasn't good enough. But not anymore. Why would you spend your life unhappy? So I am NOT anymore. I'm going to be the best me I can be. I will not let others bring me down!
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